Oh, mother, I am weeping
Besides your doorway,
Lips shaking silence
Still I am keeping
every secret scent away
Into the deep corners of my room –
The searches, things that you presume
I am here to tell you
That your daughter,
The storyteller,
has as story or two left to tell you
I think I’m ready to walk a runway
The final passage –
The fatal hallway
Hiding behind the silken curtains
Flirting, laughing, dying, certain
I am ready to feel naked
On our tiled kitchen floor
Remorse and mournfulness can’t save you
Beg and plead all the more
But this mask has clattered,
Feathers failing,
And you’re wailing,
Touching pages of my stories
As the ancient scroll unfurls –
Here are my secrets,
Take them, leave them
I am sorry, mother
But please don’t smother me
This is just my
Teenage – shattered – grandiloquent
My overdue apology
Here are my scars
They aren’t fresh, but they aren’t fading
I’ve traveled far
Everything I’ve told you, lies, all laden
It’s hard to see, I know
A smiling face of cutting,
Bulimic, sexual disgrace
An excuse daughter
I have regret
Please don’t turn away from me
You have not neglect
I am just stain far,
Too deep to fade
Look at my sin-scars
They aren’t the lie
I know they still mar
My skin – so white
It’s cold – this night
It’s hard to stand outside
While your weeping
Over things I still can’t say
You’re turning me away
These secrets that I’m keeping
Driving me farther,
Here I am, drowning
I’ll call you in case of an emergency
Until then, I’ll die on the deadline
Of my overdue apology
My wooden-liquid hand
Is far too hooked to my throat
To choke a call or knock
To bridge the desiccated moat
But my lips are shaking silent
Most literally, for I’m closing my tomb tonight
Dear mother, my stories were my life
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Canary word: Present
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
um was that directed at me? if it was or wasnt, i thought it was one of the better things you've written.
You and me, girl, we belong
in Paris when it's raining,
holding hands (and broken pens),
writing lacrimoso on the walls,
quietly sipping our coffee and whispering
so softly you would mistake it for a prayer,
Ne me quitte pas.
:)
A touchy poem with lots of emotions.Liked it very much.
Good work!
Ugh... all hope for me is lost...
You have out... worded The Black Rose....
There is nothing... I have to say....
Nothing I CAN say...
Whoa... Whoa... Whoa....
Wonderful!! The best poem I've read here since I've been here, certainly! No major changes besides some minor typos.
Keep it up!
-Brian
Speechless just wonderfull really nicely done perfect lenght the rhyming everthing just wonderfull
This is very potent, very eloquent. *claps*
should be "beside"A few things... firstly some technical stuff...
I think you meant "sent". Ignore if I'm wrong.
has "a" story or two
I think the use of the word "my" in the last line is redundant since it is in the second line already.
I believe that both "neglect" and "stain" should have an "ed" on the end.
"your" should be "you're".
This poem is very potent as I said. I was trying to think of another word to use but that one is really does the best to describe it. You have created this ardent plea for help combined with surrender to dispair. You used several words I had to look up (grandiloquent and desiccated) but that just makes me happy to wonder if you misspoke yourself and then be pleasantly surprised with the gift of a new word for my vocabulary.
The phrase "my overdue apology" is very powerful especially as you used it twice in the poem. I applaud you for the words you used. Words that are not oft-used have a special special place in my heart. So, seeing ones such as "mar" and "laden" just makes smile.
I've read through this about 6 times now. Besides the technical stuff I listed though, I have nothing but praise to heap upon your poem. It is vivid, it flows, it made tears well in my eyes, and it makes me want to read it over yet again. My favorite line is
I can't explain why... but I just love it.
Wonderful job!
Jesus. This may be the best semi-rhyming poe,m I've ever read. The last two lines were moving...the length was perfect. The slight repitition suited this perfectly and I'm glad you didn't go overkill with the rhyming. I love how you were going back on *your* life and your regrets and disappointments. There were some lovely analogies in there, too. Overall, it was very smooth and soothing. But it was also very emotional, I really felt like I could feel *your* pain. this is the type of poem I would print off and put on my English-Lit binder.
Gorgeous. The first sentence and the last three are the best. I really do love this.
oooooh, xanthan, this is just...gorgey fab. I luuuuuv it. It's emotionally stirring, like a lindsay lohan vid. Well, like that one lindsay lohan vid. Well, it made me cry.
Anyway, this is an awesome poem. I would give it four stars if I were a critic!
hearts and hugs
~Misty